List of Non-Mahram Who We Should Not Greet During Eid

List of Non-Mahram Who We Should Not Greet During Eid

During Hari Raya, we will meet distant relatives and gather to rekindle friendships.

Of course, the etiquette of greeting while apologizing is a pillar that strengthens the Aidilfitri celebration.

However, it should be noted that not all relatives or close family can shake hands due to non-mahram factors.

Maybe there are still those who don’t know, follow the explanation of the Mufti of the Federal Territory regarding the law on shaking hands with relatives and anyone we can greet.

Question:

Assalamu’alaikum Mr Mufti, during Eid usually relatives will gather en masse in the village, for example. Can you explain about the limits of intimate parts, socializing, and the law on shaking hands with relatives?

Answer:

Wa’alaikumussalam wbt

Alhamdulillah, all praise and gratitude goes to Allah SWT. We convey greetings and greetings to the great leader of the Prophet Muhammad SAW, his wives and family, his companions, and those who follow in his footsteps until the Day of Judgment.

In terms of language, there are several meanings of the word mahram. We summarize them in the following points:

• A person whom it is forbidden for someone to marry because of their womb or consanguinity.

• Something that is prohibited by Allah SWT

Meanwhile, from the point of view of the fuqaha, the term mahram has the meaning: “Someone who is forbidden for us to marry and the prohibition is in the form of al-ta’bid (forever) for a good reason, not because of his glory and not because there are obstacles that can be removed.” Referring to Kaasyifah al-Saja, Nawawi bin ‘Umar (Page 114).

In explaining the meaning of the sentences in the definition above, we detail them as follows:

What is meant by “in the form of al-ta’bid” is: Does not include the wife’s siblings. Likewise, the wife’s aunt from the father’s side and also the wife’s aunt from the mother’s side. Because the prohibition is only in terms of meeting (i.e. marrying at the same time between the wife and her mother or sister).

Meanwhile, the words “not because of his glory” refer to the wives of the Prophet SAW. This is because their prohibition is due to their glory. These things are prohibited for all people and also for the Prophets.

And the words “not even because there are obstacles that can be removed” are like a wise woman, or an apostate woman. This is because their prohibition is caused by a barrier that can be removed. So it can be halal at other times (for example when they convert to Islam).

An explanation of the groups that are considered mahram is stated in the word of Allah SWT:

Forbidden to you are your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your paternal aunts, your aunts, your nieces, and your mothers who breastfeed you, and your sisters who are breastfeeding, and the mothers of your wives, and your stepchildren who are in your lap from among your wives with whom you have intercourse, so if you do not enter with them, then there is no harm for you and relatives of your children who come from your lineage, and if you bring your two sisters. together, except what has happened before. Indeed, Allah is Forgiving. Caring

Meaning: What is forbidden to you are your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your sisters (from your father’s side), your sister’s mother (from your mother’s side), your sister’s children (from your brother’s side), your sister’s children (from your sister’s side), your nursing mother, your breastfeeding sister, your wife’s mother, your wife’s daughter with whom you have had sexual intercourse. If you have never had sex with them, then you are not sinning. And the wives of your own children (daughters-in-law), and (acts of) associations between two sisters except those that occurred in the past. Indeed, Allah is Forgiving, Most Merciful.

Surah Al-Nisa’ (23)

In the book Al-Fiqh al-Manhaji (21/2) the reasons for the permanent prohibition are stated. These are the following three things:

Based on the points above, we distribute several mahrams for a man which are divided into three parts, namely mahram in terms of relatives, musaharah, and also breastfeeding.

First: Mahram from the perspective of relatives

1. Biological mother.

2. Grandmother (mother’s mother).

3. Grandmother (mother to father).

4. Girl.

5. Granddaughter (of son).

6. Granddaughter (of daughter).

7. Sisters from the same mother and father.

8. Siblings from the same mother.

9. Siblings from the same father.

10. The daughter of a sibling (half-sister).

11. The daughter of a father’s or mother’s brother.

Namely our brother’s or sister’s child @daughter.

Second: Mahram from the Musaharah Angle

1. Father’s wife (stepmother). Likewise the wife of her paternal or maternal grandfather.

2. The wife of the son (daughter-in-law). Likewise the wives of grandchildren and below.

3. Wife’s mother (mother-in-law).

This is based on the words of Allah SWT:

And your wives’ mothers

Meaning: And the mothers of your wives.

4. The wife’s daughter (stepdaughter of the wife who has had sexual intercourse).

Third: Mahram Due to Breastfeeding

1. Breastfeeding mothers.

2. Sister who is breastfeeding.

3. Brother’s daughter.

4. Sibling’s daughter.

5. Breastfeeding girl.

6. Breastfeeding a sibling from mother or father. That means breastfeeding mothers.

All of this is based on the words of Allah SWT:

And your mothers who breastfed you, and your sisters who breastfed you.

Meaning: And your mothers who breastfeed and your sisters who breastfeed.

Surah Al-Nisa’ (23)

Based on the hadith narrated by Aishah R. Anha, the Prophet SAW said:

It is forbidden to breastfeed which is prohibited by religious traditions.

Meaning: What is forbidden from breastfeeding is also forbidden from the lineage.

History of Ibn Majah (1937)

Meanwhile, the mahram for women is as follows:

1. Biological fathers and above are like grandfathers and ancestors.

2. Sons and daughters are like grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

3. Brothers and sisters.

4. Uncles from the mother’s side and above are like grandfathers.

5. Uncles from the father’s side and above are like grandfathers

6. A brother’s child is a brother’s or sister’s son and below him, such as a brother’s grandson.

7. Dad is breastfeeding.

8. A male sibling who is breastfeeding.

9. Father-in-law.

10. Son-in-law (daughter’s husband).

There are several implications of this mahram, namely:

• Forbidden to marry him.

• Can shake hands with him.

• Can be alone with him.

Here we summarize some people who are not mahram for a man:

1. Uncle’s wife.

2. Female cousin.

3. Sister-in-law (sibling’s wife).

4. Older sister-in-law).

5. Adopted daughter who is not breastfed.

Meanwhile, for women who are not mahram, they are as follows:

1. Aunt’s husband.

2. Male cousin.

3. Brother-in-law (biological sister’s husband).

4. Brother-in-law (male).

5. Adopted children who are not breastfed children.

The consequences of not having a mahram (not being a mahram) are as follows:

• Can’t shake hands with him.

• Can marry him.

• Can’t mess with him.

As for the implications of mahram in terms of the boundaries of the private parts, we state that basically the law of covering the private parts is obligatory as agreed by the ulama based on the word of Allah SWT:

And command the believing women to lower their eyes and guard their private parts, and not to reveal their ornaments except what is visible, and to cover their breasts with a veil, and not to reveal their ornaments except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husbands’ fathers, or their sons, or their sons. Their husbands, or their brothers, or their brothers’ sons, or their sisters’ sons, or their women, or what belongs to their right hand, or followers who are not of the first line. Men’s or children’s robes that do not reveal the woman’s private parts and do not hit her legs so that it is known what they are hiding from their jewelry. And repent to Allah together, O you who believe, that you may succeed.

Meaning: “And order the believing women to restrain their gaze (from looking at what is haram), and guard their honour; and they must not show jewelry on their bodies except what is visible from them; and they must cover the necks of their clothes with a headscarf; and they must not show jewelry on their bodies except to their husbands, or their fathers or their parents-in-law or their children, or their stepsons, or their brothers (brothers), or their brothers’ children, or their brothers’ children.” women, or Muslim women, or their servants, or men who are old and do not want women, or children who do not understand about women’s private parts and do not trample on what is hidden from their ornaments, and repent to Allah, O you who believe.

Surah al-Nur (31)

The author of the book Asna al-Mathalib said in al-Syafi’eyyah fiqh:

A free woman’s private parts when praying and in front of people who are not mahram (men who are not mahram) even outside (her entire body except face and hands), back and stomach.

Meaning: A woman’s private parts are independent in prayer and also in the presence of ajnabi (men who are not mahram) likewise (her private parts) outside of prayer are her entire body except the face and palms of the hands, inside and out.

Referring to Asna al-Mathalib (1/176)

This means that it is obligatory for a woman to cover her entire body except her face and the palms of her hands in front of men who are not mahram and it is not obligatory in front of mahram.

Meanwhile, for men, their private parts for non-mahram women are between the navel and knees. It is not permissible for a woman to see a man’s private parts between these two areas and is also not allowed to see anything other than a man’s private parts without any reason based on the text which says it is degrading for women as well as men.

Conclusion

In closing, we advise that we can celebrate Eid al-Fitr with full obedience and devotion to Allah SWT in the sense that we avoid things that are forbidden by Allah and also obey all Allah’s commands in life.

We need to emphasize that not shaking hands with non-mahram relatives does not mean there is no harmony or tension in family relationships. In fact, harmony is built by helping each other, being friendly and greeting during holidays, exchanging food, and maintaining the boundaries set by syarak.

Finally, may Allah SWT give us all the correct understanding of religion through this enlightenment. Amen.